2017: Time, Colors and Words
If you would’ve asked me when I was 15 what I expected 2017 to be like, those words would’ve never entailed my life being the way it is now. Life is everything complicated and not easily understood. The beauty of life is in it’s complexity and creativity created through different parallels of what we’ve defined reality as. Being who I am, I’ve continued to live through those parallels by responding to them in a positive way and opening myself up for increased vulnerability to things to come and things beyond. To say I’m scared of the future is to admit that there’s something to be afraid of. Fear comes from an absence of faith, without faith there only exists fear. A common misconception is that fear only takes the form of violence, when fear can be presented in various factors including loneliness, anxiety, depression and unfulfilled expectations. Yet, I have faith built strongly on a bright future filled in a beautiful world. Not everyday is perfect at this moment in time but everyday is worth it. It’s gotten me closer towards a higher happiness one in which I’ve enjoyed sharing with others on a regular basis. In doing so I’ve made the choice to recap my 2017 in the only way I know how, in a positive light. 2017 for many was a year filled with unexpected surprises both good and bad, understanding the world and its growth towards more hate than love. Yet, on a personal level I think it’s important to look forward with optimism but at the same time reflect as to what went right.
Intro to 2017: The Time
Songs: Sunshine by Powers, No Matter What by Little Monarch and Stars by Future Generations.
Quote: “Freedom isn’t obtainable through an absence of peace or positivity.”
Beginning 2017, I felt as if it became a continuation of my strong ending to 2016. Personally, I came to a strong decision of understanding that positivity became my choice and way of life. There’s no way around it, no way to bend it. Positivity and faith is what was going to shape my life and more me forward. Nobody was going to get in my way of accomplishing a goal of increased positivity and positive energy into my life. No matter what. Days weren’t always easy and sometimes discouragement settled in but quickly it became uprooted and showed itself out. I can remember some days driving to my job thinking how months earlier in the same situation I found nothing but doom, gloom and dread only to now see peace, happiness, hope, appreciation and faith. Focusing my time, mind and energy on those things, in which shaped a fresh start of the year. Little did I know, that would propel me towards a greater changed, that was needed.
It was time to say goodbye to Las Vegas, a place that I called home for three years. In what became the bad, the ugly and the good. My time in Las Vegas was more needed than I would come to understand. Through the loneliness and unappreciation I found calm and a greater understanding of self-love. Learning that loneliness only exists through the absence of self-love because self-love is the personal attachment of feeling whole and complete with one’s self. Las Vegas forced me to see myself in a brighter light and growing to understand that life does not depend on the circumstances of others, but of yourself. You create the happiness of the reality you find yourself in. How you choose to react to different circumstances creates forth what it is you become and accept. Ideal or not ideal circumstances, Las Vegas added value to my life for what it taught me about myself. Yet, there came a time to which I grew past that, and felt it was necessary for me to move forward and to move on.
Middle of 2017: The Colors
Song: Ride by Empire of the Sun
Quote: “Acceptance is a two-sided tale.”
It was time for me to leave Las Vegas. Now, I don’t think I’ll ever understand why Las Vegas didn’t workout for me or my family, I just knew it wasn’t meant to be. It never felt like home, it always lacked in my heart. Possibly it was the desert, maybe it was the environment in which I obtained socialness, or really it could’ve been a combination of multiple factors. All I know is, Las Vegas was a chapter in my light that needed to end. The colors and the lights of that city for me ran from bright rainbow colors to a desolate and bleak gray upon my final weeks there. With every place, there’s some value found and of course there are some things and individuals I genuinely miss in Las Vegas, yet at a whole glance. I find myself a happier, and more necessary version of myself. That’s why I took the leap forward and moved with my family to Dallas, Texas.
Now, Dallas had been a place I’ve visited before and there I was greeted with an idea of home and new beginnings. I understood Dallas is not New York, LA or anything in between. Yet, in turn the thing I loved about Dallas is that it doesn’t try to be any of those places. Dallas is just Dallas, filled with food, people and sports. Years before Texas had never been a state on my radar of places I’d find myself calling home but upon further research more and more it seemed like a perfect and one that would be right for me. In what turned to be one of the seemingly longest stretches of months in my life, filled with anticipation and lots of boxes. It was clear, Dallas was about to become my new reality.
2017 brought me my first major road trip experience, one that I’ll cherish forever. Plenty of laughs, cries, photos and foods filled my life. Driving through various different states during the different parts of the days, stopping in states I’ve never been in before all while shooting as many photos as my camera could take presented a beautiful story that was greatly enjoyable.
Settling into a new city is never something that’s easy. No matter how you prepare for it, you can’t truly paint an accurate vison of what to expect. I knew that Dallas was a city I was excited to live in and that’s all that mattered to me. Quickly I found myself going through town engaging in various activities trying my best to adjust to my new home. Through bumps and cracks, it became apparent that I had made the right choice. The bleak greys of my home once again filled with colors painted in my personality and hopes. Being an emotional individual, I understood that with everything, comes a strong focus of well, focusing. Meaning that if my life in Dallas was going to work, I was going to have to make it work with my mind and faith first. Dallas would only become home as much as I would allow it to be. If I would accept its flaws and imperfections along with its qualities and blessings, then it would accept mine. The people became no different, most have been very friendly, welcoming and understanding. Overall, the months of summer were filled with adjustment, but I could eventually breathe and say that Dallas is my home, for how long who knows but as long as I accept and invest myself into it fully, I only expect good things to return of it.
The End of 2017: The Words
Song: To Build a Home by The Cinematic Orchestra
Quote: “All you have is the ability to move forward, you don’t have time to move backwards.”
Now in present day and present time, I’m settled in Dallas, Texas. Well, as settled as a 21-year-old living at home College student can expect himself to be. Nonetheless, stability is present. I’ve found myself focusing more time and energy on becoming a stronger version of myself mentally. Redefining and reaffirming my roots in positivity with an absence of comparisons. Everyday adjusting former mindsets and mistakes that have hindered me in the past and understanding my youth and the fact that I am still growing on a regular basis and that I have no expectation to live up to but my own. I am my own expectation and my success and failure is only defined by what I want it to be. My idea of success is my happiness, it’s something that I’ve grown stronger and closer towards with each passing month and one I will have continued to pursue until I’ve fully obtained it in the way I desire it. At the end of the day, we’re all still growing, at any age. Nobody on this earth is a completed project, we’re all works in progress. I choose to view my life as a glass half full in understanding that eventually that cup will meet another half-filled cup created something whole. Until then that half filled cup will do just fine. Here’s to 2018 and the new blessings that will come with that year, one that I’m sure will have its ups and downs but one I know I will come out on top of stronger, more positive and happier than ever. My goals for 2018 will remain private but just know I won’t stop moving forward and that 2018 will be filled with more personal progress than ever before. I am typing and speaking that into existence now. 2018 will have spiritual, mental, physical, emotional and financial progress to levels I’ve strived to obtain. A new year, with the same old resolve.
To live at peace and to spread it around.
-JG
